i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
