I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
