All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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