My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had sex on a roof
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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