did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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