guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
