just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
