went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
