DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
