I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
