You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
