just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't you send me to vm
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
