just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
