I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
