Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
