1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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