Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
