oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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