Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
