The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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