worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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