Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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