D3 body, D1 cock
why didn't you poke me back
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
