And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
