She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
