His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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