i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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