We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
