Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think a kid would responsible me up
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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