I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
