Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
