i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
