She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
