So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
