my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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