WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Watching her eat just hurts me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
