At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
