i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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