I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
