my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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