Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
