dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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