I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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