Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
