can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
