Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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