then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
