Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
