I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
