You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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