If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
