I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
