i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
