JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
