its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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