We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
