I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
