That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
