Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
